


A Warrios's Grief

by EyesOfHorus82



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Death, Deathfic, Depression, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Major Character Injury, One Shot, Protective Cara Dune, References to Depression, Sad, Suicide Attempt, Tears, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:48:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26600119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EyesOfHorus82/pseuds/EyesOfHorus82
Summary: A story about a certain Mandalorian, who had just lost everything he'd ever loved. Trigger Warning, sensitive topics. Character death. One-shot
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	A Warrios's Grief

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, I'm going to put a trigger waring on this story. I you feel depressed or have suicidal thoughts please talk to somebody. You are not alone. Stay safe everyone.

A Warrior's Grief

Finally the moment had come, the moment of the final confrontation. They´ve been fighting, hiding and traveling through the whole galaxy, just to get away from this man. But in the end, Din knew, he had to kill him, so the Kid would be finally save. It was a hard fight, but the mandalorian had managed to maintain the upper hand in this duel. He had retrieved the Darksaber from his opponent, now pointing at the man, who was on his knees right in front of him.

“It´s over, Gideon. You won't harm or hunt my Child ever again!” Din growled, tightening his grip around the hilt of the weapon. The older man looked around, he knew, there was no way out for him, but he didn't dare begging for his life. Moff Gideon looked behind the mandalorian, the asset, who he had been hunting for so long, was standing just a few feet away from him. So close, yet so far. 

Din bend down to his enemy, grabbing his collar and pulled him up. “I can't kill someone on his knees, get up! I won't show any mercy on you, since you've been trying to kill my Kid, my friends and me for such a long time now. I have no choice…” he whispered into Gideon´s ear. The Moff didn't fight back, his glance was still focused on the Kid. “Any last words?” Din added, tightening his grip, almost choking his opponent. 

But there was one thing, Din didn't know, that Gideon had a hidden blade in a small pocket on the side of his pants. Slowly he tried to reach it, while he was trying to distract the mandalorian. “You don't know anything about his powers, you don't know anything what they gift he possesses. He's a weapon, a weapon destined to serve the dark side…” Gideon whispered back and drew his knife quickly. Din let go of him in surprise when he saw the silvery gleam of the hidden blade. Without any hesitation, he ignited the Darksaber and stabbed Gideon, before he was able to hit his unprotected side with the blade. But the Moff had another target in his mind. 

Before anyone could realize, he threw the knife towards the little green one, who just stood there, watching his foster father killing the bad guy. But he didn't see the blade coming. The blade hit the kid's stomach, making him fall to the ground. Din couldn´t react quickly enough nor he couldn´t prevent it. “If I can't have the Child, no one will….” Gideon whispered as he drew his last breath. Din let go of the Moffs dead body, turned around and rushed to his little foundling. He felt his heart had stopped beating for several moments. More and more blood left the kid's body, he was shaking. 

Din´s felt like something had cut his vocal cords, he was not able to say anything. The mandalorian cautiously lifted the kid from the ground, who was gasping and crying, but Din had just froze in shock. What had happened? He couldn´t answer that question.

A few seconds later he found his voice again, but his body just acted on instincts. Quickly he ripped off a piece of his cloak, to provide it as a bandage. He firmly pressed it on the Child's wound, but was soaked within seconds. “No, no… don´t leave me, stay with me….”Din whispered with his voice shaking. 

He felt the Kids ragged breathing, his dark eyes slowly closing. The mandalorian knew, it was over, he had lost him. “Stay with me, you'll be okay. I promise, just stay with me. Kid!” Din said repeatedly, like a chant. But he knew, he couldn't do anything. The little green one closed his eyes and drew his last breath. Din screamed, removed his helmet and threw it aside. Desperately he tried to get a few breaths into the Kid, but he didn't start breathing on his own anymore. It was over.

Still, Din couldn´t actually realize, what had happened. His mind felt numb, he just held his foundling in his arms and couldn't believe he had just died in his arms. Died because he wasn't fast enough. It started raining and the mandalorian bend over the kid to protect him from it. “You´re just sleeping right? Please tell me you´re just sleeping….” he cried and softly rocked the little one in his arms. His beskar was already covered with the blood of his foundling. 

Din just sat there, unable to move or to let go of the kid. He was drenched soon and his tears mixed with the rain. The more time passed the more he realized his foster child was dead, the pain he felt emotionally, he even felt physically, like someone stabbed him right into his chest and ripped his heart into pieces. The mandalorian actually had trouble breathing, feeling like being choked. 

He sat there several hours, the sun had gone down already. The night laid chilly upon him, but Din didn't even feel his body was shivering from the cold. He felt nothing but emptiness now. From time to time, he felt the pain, but his subconsciousness tried to suppress it, like he had been trained not to let himself be overwhelmed by emotions. It didn't work before, but now the shock had subsided for now, it felt a little easier to him to reclaim a little bit of a clear mind. “How did this happen? I was standing right in front of him, the blade should have hit me.” he asked himself over and over again but the shock still had a grip on him, so he couldn't recall a clear memory to analyze the situation. He knew, it was his fault anyway, he failed to protect the child. 

In honor of his deceased foundling he left his helmet, at the place where he had died, when he made his way back to the Razor Crest. When he walked into the night, he cradled the Child, his memories began stirring in his head. Every single one was a stinging pain in his heart. 

Back at the ship, he wrapped the little on into his favourite blue blanket. Still he prayed, he would open his eyes any moment, but this moment never came. He started the engines, but it worked just after a few attempts because Din constantly pushed the wrong buttons, his mind was like wiped out. The mandalorian knew, he actually wasn't mentally capable to fly his ship right now, but he had no choice. 

First, he didn't know how to proceed, but then he decided to bury his child on his home planet. That place, where he had his first experience with death. Din wanted to bury him at the place where he had built a memorial for his parents a long time ago in his home where he had lived as a child. Din hadn't been there for a long time, he used to visit his parents graves, when he felt lonely and miserable. He did that often before he had met the child.

But after they had jumped into hyperspace, Din felt he was not able to do this alone. For the first time ever he actually required help, not physically but mentally. But the only friend he had, was on Nevarro, so he sent her the coordinates and a plea to come alone. He didn't add any details nor a personal message. All he could hope for, is that she would make it in time. He just couldn't do this alone. 

The silence in the ship was devastating, Din couldn´t focus on anything. His body already showed his limits, he was exhausted. The mandalorian didn't dare to turn around, because the Kid´s body was lying on the Co pilot's seat behind him. Something almost glued him to his seat, so he couldn't move. His eyes rested on his controls and he felt another painful sting, when he saw the little metal ball lying on the panel in front of him. 

Silent tears were running down his cheeks as he picked hit up, rolling it between his fingers. Now he felt like the ball had clogged his throat so had to take a deep breath to get rid of this feeling again. A few hours later, he finally arrived at his home planet and landed the Razor Crest on a small meadow right behind his parent's house. Since the attack back then, no one lived here anymore, so they were alone. 

When the engines were shut down, he turned around in his seat. For a few minutes, he looked at the small body in front of him. Desperately he still had hoped, the little one would start moving again, he hoped for a miracle. After staring at it for a while, he finally managed to retrieve control over his body again and got up from his seat. Cautiously he lifted the little one up, holding him close to his chest. 

Slowly he lowered the ramp of the ship, but when he put a foot on it, a familiar figure was running towards them. “Din? Din are you okay? I received your message and flew straight here. What's wrong? Din?” Cara asked and slowed her walk the closer she came. First, she had never seen him without his helmet, that was the first thing, which made her nervous. Secondly, she realized he was holding a small bundle in his hands, wrapped in a familiar blue blanket. 

Now Cara stood right in front of him and never before, she had seen such a desperate face. Her stomach cramped, when she took a closer look of what he held close to his chest. She just had seen a tiny peek of a green ear and her eyes were tearing up immediately. Cara was not able to say anything, she just walked closer and looked into Din´s eyes. His glance told her it was over, she didn't even had to ask. 

“Can you help me bury him, Cara? I… can't do it.. alone.” Din whispered with a hoarse voice. It sounded so different to her without his helmet, but she nodded of course. Slowly they made their way to Din´s former home. It once was a small house, made of white stones, with a red door. The many years, which it had been uninhabited clearly had a negative effect to it, but Cara assumed it once has been a warm and comfortable home. 

They made their way to the door, which had been locked. “Can you hold him for a second?” he asked and reached the Child to Cara, who finally saw the Kid's dead body. She startled, when she saw his pale face, although he looked like he was just sleeping. But she instantly felt that there was no life within him anymore. Din noticed her struggle and pulled up the blue blanket, to cover the Kid's face with. 

With trembling fingers he searched for something underneath his cloak and after a few seconds he pulled out a delicate golden necklace with a small key attached to it. Cara watched him closely. “That was my mother´s necklace, my father gave it to her on their wedding. Thats only thing, I own from my parents. I found it in our house, when I was here the first time after I´ve become a Mandalorian.” he explained. 

“You came back? I would not be able to return to the place where my family died. ”Cara asked curiously." I came back to build a proper memorial for them. Their bodies never had been recovered. I wanted to pay my last respects since they've sacrificed their lives for me, I owed that to them, since I've never been able to say goodbye.” Din said sadly and Cara put a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

Din unlocked the door with the small key, it was dark inside and dust swirled through the air. Slowly they entered but Din went straight to another door, which led to a small garden. Cara looked around, most of the interior was destroyed and covered in dust. But she didn't want to be too curious, so she followed Din into the garden. When she got outside, she found herself surrounded by a white brick wall. Wild, beautiful flowers were blooming everywhere, releasing a sweet scent into the air. 

But Cara had no time to enjoy this beautiful surrounding and followed Din to the end of the wall. Under an old willow, she saw Din standing in front of two white tombstones. There were letters written on each of them, but they couldn´t be read anymore since they were weathered. Din had already begun to dig a small grave beside the two memorials. It actually hurt Cara to watch him digging a grave for his little Child. Both were silent, only the wind, which was softly rocking the branches of the tree. Some of the leaves fell down on Din´s shoulders. 

Two hours later, he was finished. Cara silently said goodbye to the Child and reached his body over to Din. He wrapped him in his arms and turned away from Cara, slowly kneeling to the ground. First he didn't know what to say, he wasn't ready to say farewell. For the last time he took a look into the small green face, for the last time he fondled those big, floppy ears. Din sobbed as he cradled him and placed a kiss on the kid's forehead. “I´m sorry i couldn't save you. I love you…. son.” he cried and with his final words, he put the Child to his last rest. 

Cara knelt down beside him and wrapped her arms around him, she had no words to comfort him. They just sat there and Din couldn't contain his tears any longer. Cara felt his whole body shaking and hugged him harder. “It's okay, he's at a better place now. It was not your fault.” she said, although she didn't even know what had happened. But she knew one thing for sure, Din would have never let anything happen to his Child. 

“But I am…. It was my fault. I wasn't fast enough, I could have prevent it. The blade, which took his life was destined for me, I should be lying here not him!” Din sobbed and buried his face in his hands. “It's not your fault, it was not even a mistake. You can´t predict any movement of your enemies. Din, you are only human!” Cara said loudly. That kind of woke him from his grief, he just looked sadly on the ground. 

The Mandalorian knew she was right, but still he blamed himself for it. Soon the sun went down and it was getting pretty cold outside. “We should go inside.” Cara said and helped her friend getting up. Din watched the small leaves falling on his Child's grave, almost decorating it. Slowly they walked to the house, Cara kept her arm around his midsection to support him, because his body was still trembling. 

Din switched on the lights when they´ve entered. “We should stay here for the night.” he muttered. “Okay, do you want anything to eat? I can get something out of my ship's supply” Cara suggested but the mandalorian shook his head. “I´m fine… I´ll go to bed, good night and thank you for keeping me company, it means so much to me.” he said but before he could turn around, Cara pulled him into a close embrace and placed a kiss on his cheek. 

“Good night, and don't give up. Don't blame yourself for his death” she whispered and released him. He nodded and left the room. Actually he went into his old bedroom where he wanted to spend the night, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight anyway. After he stripped down his beskar he laid down on his old bed, although he was too tall for it now, but it didn't bother him. Now that he was alone, his mind began digging up some painful memories again. 

But soon his body felt the effect of today's events, he started shivering because he was tired and exhausted. Din closed his eyes, actually he didn't dare falling asleep, but he couldn´t resist it in the end. First he saw nothing but darkness, but slowly the dark mist was cleared and he saw the Kid standing right in front of him. “Kid?” he asked and approached him slowly. He didn't react. Din walked faster and called him again. 

Now he turned around and Din fell to his knees. Quickly he grabbed him and embraced the Child. But he didn't react either, normally he had liked cuddling with his father, but this time he didn't respond to his touch. Suddenly, Din felt something warm and sticky on his chest. “Kid are you alright?” he asked and released him from his embrace. Now he saw the Kid laid bleeding in his arms. “No, not again…” Din cried and put his head on the kid´s forehead. From the distant, he heard a familiar, evil laughing. 

“If I can't have him, no one will…..” he heard a voice say, but suddenly the jerked awake from his sleep. For a second, he had to realize that he had been dreaming, but nevertheless this dream left him panting and shivering in his bed. The door swung open and Cara rushed at him. “Din are you alright? I heard you screaming, what happened?” she asked and wrapped her arms around him. 

“Nightmare…” he whispered and pulled her closer. Slowly she caressed his back, trying to soothe him. “Hey, it´s okay. You´re going to be okay.” she whispered and laid down beside him. Din felt a little better, when she was with him. Cara rested her head on his shoulder and put her arm around his chest. 

“Try to sleep, I'm here..” she whispered and closed her eyes. Now she felt him calming down a bit and after a while, he eventually fell asleep. A few hours later, he woke up again. Din felt Cara snuggling on his side. He took a deep breath and wiggled out of her embrace, cautiously not to wake her. He felt worse than before. Slowly but clearly, he became aware of not being able to live with this guilt. He had not just lost his child but also lost his honor by failing at protecting the one, who he's been destined to take care of. When it was quiet, he felt the heaviness of his memories even more. It didn't stop circling in his head, Kid, the knife, Gideon, the kid and repeat. He had failed, he was in disgrace, maybe not by the mandalorian creed but by his own personal way of life. 

And it started to drain him. Quietly he walked outside his bedroom and went outside. The night was pretty cold, but he didn´t care. Before he went to the garden, he grabbed the Darksaber, which he had been carrying since he retrieved it from Gideon. The moon was shining bright and illuminated the now three graves in his garden. Slowly he walked towards them and fell to his knees when he reached the Kid´s grave. Now that he was here again, he felt how much he actually missed him. 

“I´m sorry, I can´t carry on without you. You gave me purpose, you gave me comfort. I once have lost everything and now again. I can´t take this anymore.” he muttered and tightened his grip on the hilt of the Darksaber, putting it right over his heart. From the distant, he heard a voice. “Din, don´t do that, this won´t bring him back…. “ Cara yelled but it was too late. He switched on the Saber and the blade went right through his chest……

Din awoke with a start, he had no idea what had happened. He couldn´t see anything at first, but soon he realized, he was lying in his bunk at the Razor Crest. Panting he rubbed his eyes to get a clearer vision. “What happened?” he asked himself and looked around, his heart was throbbing painfully in his chest. He tried to catch his breath, trying to calm himself. After a while he realized, he had tears in his eyes. 

Suddenly, he felt a small hand grabbing his arm. A little green one watched him with sleepy eyes. Considering his glance, he was asking ´What happened, are you alright?´ Now Din felt nothing but relief. “It was just a dream, just a damn nightmare…” he whispered and pulled the Kid into a close embrace. The little one was snuggling on his chest and fell asleep in a matter of minutes. “I love you.” he whispered and placed a kiss on the kids forehead and soon both were back into a deep slumber.


End file.
